Children are born with the seeds of empathy and compassion, but to nurture them and make them imbibe these qualities in them is conscious, slow and a gradual process.
We parents are their primary teachers and our role in inculcating these qualities is crucial.
Empathy and compassion is important as it helps in developing meaningful and long term relationships. Children who are empathetic and take responsibility for others tend to be happier and more successful in their lives.
Studies show that around 2 years of age, children start to understand others and start showing empathy.
By age 4 they become more empathetic and can offer an apology on their own.
Here are some of the suggestions for raising empathetic and caring children.
- Be a role model and exhibit kind behaviour.
Children are watching us all the time and we are their first teachers. They learn keenly by observing. The words which we speak and the actions we exhibit, influence them directly.
How can we do this ;
- Empathy starts with us – when we treat ourselves with kindness and take care of ourselves by doing simple things everyday like meditating, eating healthy and practicing affirmations. Children are very likely to inculcate these habits and take care of themselves.
- Positive actions – when our children observe we are doing simple acts of kindness everyday like taking care of elders at home, engaging in community services like orphanages, old age home etc, they inherently understand how to act on or show their feelings. This lays a solid foundation of empathy and care for a lifetime in them.
2. Treat them with respect and kindness.
Everyone deserves to be treated with kindness and respect and when we treat our children with respect, they automatically will behave the same with others.
How can we do this ;
- Rules for home – by co-creating a list of rules for home, we can create a framework of what is acceptable and not acceptable in our homes. Like as a rule we don’t shout and scream at one another.
- Meaningful conversations – when we discuss and interact with our children about every day things and their feelings, we develop a deep bond with them of respect and love. This can be a base for healthy relationships in their adulthood.
- Creating healthy boundaries – healthy boundaries are essential for any relationship. When we teach our children, healthy boundaries we are automatically teaching them how to respect each other.
3. Creating rituals and caring for others as priority.
Rituals are very important and play a crucial role in the lives of our children, it’s like creating our own unique family map. Rituals bring in a sense of security, identity and belongingness to our children.
- Creating rituals around caring and compassion – ‘Caring Sunday’ – everyone does a act of kindness for each other first thing every Sunday morning like cooking favourite dish, giving each other a head massage etc.
- Stories on compassion – reading our children stories of compassion and discussing with them is another powerful way of teaching compassion.
- Service – Regularly engaging in community service with our children and contributing to our community is another way of developing caring, loving and compassionate children.
Raising caring, respectful and empathetic children has always been a consistent and a hard task at hand. But it’s something all of us should do. The best reward is the satisfaction in seeing them live a fulfilling and contented life.